March 29, 2008

Catholic Church Finally Chooses Sponsor

Posted in news report tagged , , , , , at 8:32 pm by bk

03via Sam Felder/29/2019 Rome, Italy — After initial resistance, then months of deliberation, the Roman Catholic Church has finally chosen an official sponsor. Wonder Bread beat out St. Francis Winery as the official sponsor of the Church. Both companies endured a stringent screening process that gaged business ethics policies, overall business plans, and profitability.

“Both organizations proved to practice righteously in the business world. It eventually came down to bread vs. wine. The Body of Christ will always be the central focus of the Church,” stated Vatican Spokesman Cardinal Vincent Pokinski.

Wonder Bread, a subsidiary of Interstate Bakeries based in Kansas City, Mo., was honored to be named the Church’s official sponsor.

“We are pleased to be affiliated with an organization that has influenced the world for hundreds of years,” said Wonder CEO Steve Mears. “This partnership will prove to be beneficial and rewarding to both parties.”

As part of the purported multi-million dollar deal, Wonder will proved the Eucharist for all parishes around the world. Wonder will also slightly modify the appearance of the host. One side will have the traditional cross, while the other side will be embossed with the Wonder brand “W.”

The Catholic Church follows other world religions that have already named official sponsors. The Southern Baptists of America have made a deal with Cadillac, while loosely organized Buddhists have struck a deal with Starbucks.

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